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embracing my status quo

I am in a good place. I have been able to put my gender feelings in check and understand them or at least manage them in such a way that they do not dampen my daily existence. I want them to instead live harmoniously within it. It is a cumbersome thing to have unresolved issues running like a low humming motor in the background of your life. After a while you don’t notice them but they have significant impact nonetheless.

Ignoring and repressing never worked for me. I know there are others who have found that their dysphoria is sufficiently mild enough that they don’t need to dress as often or at all and manage their feelings in other ways. My embracing of my feminine expression has been working and I see no reason to tamper with it at this point.

Finding blogs like retransition.org and Thirdwaytrans.com has been encouraging because they represent the other side of the transition debate. They are detransitioned transwomen who in middle age decided that their transformations had not been the right thing for them after all. They serve like cautionary role models for those who might think that transition is a fix all.

So even as I have abandoned my negative thinking about gender dysphoria being rooted in mental illness, I still think that there is validity in not going too much the other way. Your psyche may tell you to try something because it’s new and because it allows for a kind of reinvention that may be rooted in dissatisfaction with other areas of your life.

Sometimes I think that if I had not found the confidence and resolve to be a part time woman I might be well on my way towards transition which would have been a grave mistake for me. When it comes to this issue I think the best approach is to do less rather than more. Trust your feelings only after chewing things over countless times and, if you cannot come to a resolution after all of that, then consider not changing the status quo.


Comments

  1. Everyone's life if full of choices. We make them all day, every day. Some choices have more impact than others. Sadly, I choose to eat too much food and do not do adequate exercise. I understand that these are choices and I would like to be thinner and healthier but I know that to get there I need to make different choices.
    Gender modification treatment, whether with hormones or surgery or simply transitioning to live as a different gender is like Caesar crossing the Rubicon. Some choices we make have more impact than others.
    Pat

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