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grades of transition

For those of us who don’t fit perfectly into the binary model, the term transgendered may be a good descriptor. In fact it should maybe stand in as short hand for the phrase “transcending gender”

But for type V and VI transsexuals things are a little different since their primal requirement seems to be full and complete transition. The question for me then becomes: how much is the drive towards full physical transition based on an absolute necessity?

I have less trouble understanding androphilic transsexuals since their transformation is clearly a win-win scenario; they are not only highly dysphoric but are also attracted to men. But for gynephilic transsexuals should physical transformation be so obvious since they are still sexually drawn to women?

It is true that the hormonal transformation process leaves most transsexuals with severe erectile dysfunction and most genetic women are hard pressed to accept a partner’s transition so perhaps it’s a moot point but, with the understanding that gender identity and sexual orientation are not linked, what is the impetus for modifying the genitalia in this particular group? Is the objective to feel wholly and entirely a woman in every sense?

I suppose what I am getting at is the question of determining how much of gender dysphoria is rooted in a deep desire for freer range of gender expression and how much is it about changing sides and fully becoming the opposite gender with everything that entails. That question may be hard to answer even for the person since this stems from a place in our brains that we ourselves do not comprehend but the question does beg for an answer.

The evidence we have is that only a small percentage of gender dysphorics go on to have bottom surgery which leaves a larger group in various states of transition. This fact may fit well with the theory that this is a graded condition since you stop the process when you have attained a state where you are happy. And isn't that the goal most of us are after anyway?


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Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

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feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…