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matching inside and out

When taking our first awkward steps experimenting with our gender presentation, many of us make the mistake of working a little too hard on the externals and less on the internals. I suppose that is normal because we haven’t been trained to be a woman and, while I don’t presume to be one, my mind and body crave that experience. The reason remains a mystery.

We go through the beginning phases of how to apply makeup, choose body appropriate clothing, find a working voice and learn to carry our body the right way. Eventually we find a formula that works for us but not after passing through an awkward and sometimes comical stage where things don’t quite work. I think a lot of this has to do with our internal discomfort and feeling like we shouldn't be doing what we are doing.

Then somehow the planets align and the physical and mental begin to merge. You approach a state you are happy with and that equilibrium makes you say: “I’ve attained a place I am comfortable and I am myself” even if you didn’t entirely know what your goal was when you began. You only know it when you get there.

I am pretty certain there are no short cuts on the transgendered journey but if you just keep driving eventually you become more comfortable navigating the road you're on.

think positive henry ford 10 Top Tips for a Healthy Mind and Body


  1. Norman Vincent Peale and the "Power of Positive Thinking". If you think you can then you can. too many of us talk ourselves into not doing things with worry about coming up short.


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If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

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That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…