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neither friend nor foe

Your gender dysphoria, no matter what its origin, needs to be acknowledged and treated. Based on my own life experience and all of my study on the subject, it tends to become more acute as we age so ignoring it is not an option.

But can there be a middle ground approach where we can treat the symptoms and avoid transition if its ultimately not the right option for us? I believe there is.

If you see your dysphoria as a foe you will do everything to ignore it and pretend it's not there. You may crossdress periodically to relieve the pressure and then throw everything away. Then you will hold your breath for another few months and hope the feelings don't return. But they always do return and as you become older and wiser you recognize this pattern only too well and decide to stop fooling yourself.

But then you may finally see your dysphoria as a friend and think: why fight it I'm trans and I must do what my trans nature tells me to do and transition. Your dysphoria is now driving the car and deciding for you what you should do. You have then given away your power to make your own call.

I am saying that there is no black and white and we are not talking about an all or nothing scenario.

You can treat your dysphoria with whatever methods are at your disposal with the understanding that the cause of your gender confusion is likely sourced in a combination of biological and social factors. You are entirely free to set your own treatment regimen because, ultimately, no one knows you better than you know yourself and there is no magical curative pill that will remove your condition. You have it and you need to treat it and you can choose a positive outlook or a negative one; that is your choice.

By acknowledging that my cross gender expression was an effective way to treat my dysphoria and allowing myself the dignity and pride in doing it well, I have found my own solution. You have already found your own or will in the near future.

No therapist or psychiatrist has an answer for you. The answer lies entirely in your own hands.

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