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the mall rat

I have an outing routine that includes several coffee houses as well as shopping malls. These malls are convenient because not only are they strategically located throughout the city; they also provide shelter during the blistering heat of summer and the frigid days of winter. I got my start in cross gender expression in shopping malls and even if I don’t limit myself in where I go these days, they are still a good option for me.

Over the last few years I have gotten to know numerous merchants and have become friendly with them. This has helped make my outings more interesting and more social and even if these people may not be close friends, they form part of a group that helps me validate my identity as Joanna. They can always be counted on to be there when you arrive to buy your coffee or that top that’s on special.

I purchase far less than used to because in the beginning I was using it as a way to test my mettle. I wanted to interact to see how well I could pass or be taken seriously as a customer. With that challenge now met, I no longer buckle to the temptation to get one more eyeliner or bracelet; I have more than I need.

I also no longer worry about being recognized because I have had so many close calls over the years which amounted to nothing. Not only don’t people expect to run into you, they don’t expect to run into you dressed as a woman. I have literally passed right by people who know me (including my brother) who did not recognize me in the least. Where I am in my head these days I couldn’t care less if they did for I no longer have anything to hide.


you guessed it....at the mall

Comments

  1. Each outing tends to increase our comfort and confidence. Great progress.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete

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