Skip to main content

those elusive happy endings

I read recently about a U.K. based couple with two young children aged 5 and 3. The husband and wife have been married since 2006 and he has come out as transgendered. You already know where this is going don't you?

He now works full time as a woman named Cassie but at home he tries to be "normal" dad Dave for his wife and children. He feels this is a good compromise but his wife Pam is particularly unhappy with her husband's alter ego and the children are confused. Dave feels he has no choice or face depression and despondency.

The fact is that only one in three marriages survives one of the partners coming out as transgendered and, as much as I can relate to Dave/Cassie's situation, I can't help but find much sympathy for his family's feelings. Yes being transgendered isn't a choice but by the time many of us come to terms with who we are, much damage has been done to other people's lives. We desperately don't want this to happen but it just comes with the territory it seems.

Dave/Cassie is likely a transsexual who is desperately trying not to transition in order to keep the family together and I truly hope this happens. However, judging from the very normal reaction of his wife it doesn't inspire confidence. She says she married a man and not a woman and that she can't abide seeing him as Cassie.

I empathize with everyone involved but you sense that this might be a losing battle in the long run. This condition sometimes has a way of taking no prisoners.

Cassie at work

Comments

  1. Thanks for a very intriguing post, Joanna. I hope for the best for Cassie and Pam, but I just don't see this ending well.

    I'm interested in the statistic you mentioned - only one in three marriages survives one of the partners coming out as transgendered. What's the source of that stat? Any more details about the background for the study that produced that stat?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was mentioned in the article Linda Marie but I have seen similar numbers mentioned in other articles. My own marriage is part of that statistic.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


my last post

This will be my last post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very …

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…