Skip to main content

gender expression deprivation anxiety

In this blog I have made no secret of the fact that I am a big fan of Anne Vitale. She is a transitioned woman who has worked for over 30 years in the treatment of gender variant people and is responsible for the term “gender expression deprivation anxiety” which I think it describes very well the condition many of us face.

Her work segues very well as a continuation of Harry Benjamin’s which graded the severity of gender dysphoria into 6 classifications. She does not alienate with caustic language and like Benjamin is highly empathetic of her patients.

I suspect that many if not most of my readers fall somewhere in the middle of that scale and are in the difficult position of trying to balance the challenges of treating their dysphoria while addressing the life commitments they have made to their families. This is no easy task and it has taken me 50 years to find a workable solution that does not involve transition.

Certainly transition is not for everyone and won’t necessarily improve your overall life quality but if we focus on treating the deprivation anxiety then the answer should lie in assuaging it with a dosage that works for you. Everyone is different and while some are happy with an outing a month, others (like me) may require to step out every day. I also know that not all dysphorics crossdress and they try and use other methods to cope.

The good news is that when you find your formula, things get a lot better and I don’t think I have ever felt more whole in my entire life.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…