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gender expression deprivation anxiety

In this blog I have made no secret of the fact that I am a big fan of Anne Vitale. She is a transitioned woman who has worked for over 30 years in the treatment of gender variant people and is responsible for the term “gender expression deprivation anxiety” which I think it describes very well the condition many of us face.

Her work segues very well as a continuation of Harry Benjamin’s which graded the severity of gender dysphoria into 6 classifications. She does not alienate with caustic language and like Benjamin is highly empathetic of her patients.

I suspect that many if not most of my readers fall somewhere in the middle of that scale and are in the difficult position of trying to balance the challenges of treating their dysphoria while addressing the life commitments they have made to their families. This is no easy task and it has taken me 50 years to find a workable solution that does not involve transition.

Certainly transition is not for everyone and won’t necessarily improve your overall life quality but if we focus on treating the deprivation anxiety then the answer should lie in assuaging it with a dosage that works for you. Everyone is different and while some are happy with an outing a month, others (like me) may require to step out every day. I also know that not all dysphorics crossdress and they try and use other methods to cope.

The good news is that when you find your formula, things get a lot better and I don’t think I have ever felt more whole in my entire life.


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"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…