Skip to main content

less might be more

I remember once meeting a fellow patient while I waited for my gender appointment. He was in the early stages of transition and could barely strike up a conversation with me or even look me in the eye. After I went inside, Helene told me that he rarely spoke to strangers and had some communication issues.

That meeting stayed with me.

People who follow this blog know that I am on record as not being against transition. However I do propose that one get their house in order before embarking on such a journey. Gender dysphoria is a formidable opponent to be sure and it must be dealt with all of your faculties in good working order. If you have low self esteem, suffer from depression or have family problems then your transition will not repair them and potentially only make them worse. It may be tempting to think that these issues are in part due to our incorrect gender role designation.

I found that it was only when my psyche was at peace that I able to properly tackle my dysphoria. It was when I was most conflicted that my mind raced from place to place in search of a solution.

Perhaps the best approach might be to work on understanding ourselves as well as we can and to do only what is minimally required to improve our happiness. For some this may be occasional cross gender expression while for others it may include hormone treatments or androgen blockers. We are all different.

On another note, a recently discovered that a well written blog I like may henceforth be haunted by two familiar, predictable and polar opposite characters. One is from the dysphoria as fetish school while the other is from the discredited HBS crowd who adopts the clarion call "my bell has rung ergo I am a woman" but must bolster herself by discrediting the transgendered. The author of the blog I refer to appears to be well read, intelligent and hopefully up to the challenge of tackling these two.

Meanwhile, my blog will continue to very happily dispel falsehoods and use current and past research to help people with medium to strong dysphoria find alternative solutions to deal with their condition. This is particularly important for those of us who are heterosexual.

As I have posted here lately, the resources are out there for you if you need them.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…