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the discourse here

Every once in a while this blog draws fire but not very often which is why I don't screen comments for approval and I don't plan to change that. AQV (aka Senrub or sensual rub for short) has been banned from crossdreamers and likely a number of other sites for basically fanning the flames to protect what she sees as an incursion by perverted males into her territory of womanhood; a neighborhood I don't seek to move into.

For the record, everything I say in this blog you will find is backed by people such as Julia Serano, Jamie Veale, Lynn Conway, Andrea James, Anne Vitale and a host of others whose experience in this field is second to none. My own discussions with my own therapist lines up with them as well. All have deep reservations about the work of Ray Blanchard who also happens to think that all transsexuals are men plain and simple.

For some reason, some androphilic transsexuals become very agitated and will pounce at the very suggestion that the driver for their transition may in some way resemble the condition suffered by other gynephilic gender dysphorics.

I strongly believe that gender dysphoria is universally linked and has common roots. It varies in strength from person to person which is why Harry Benjamin saw fit to use a scale to measure his patients. If you haven't read this important work I strongly urge you to do so.

Everything I have read from the experts continues to feed into this idea and it is likely a matter of time before new theories are developed and Blanchard's input into the DSM becomes replaced with something superior and hopefully more scientific.

I encourage discourse here but not baiting from people with not so hidden and very transparent agendas.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

the risks of downplaying dysphoria

Kati’s comment on my post called “Doubting you are trans” got me thinking about the validity of our feelings and the importance of not downplaying them.

Make no mistake: gender dysphoria is real and you are not delusional and by trying to downplay our emotional need to express ourselves we are making a mistake.

At the same time, I am very realistic about what I am doing to treat my dysphoria and understand that I was not born physically female. However, the idea that gender identity is established exclusively through birth genitalia has been pretty convincingly debunked which means that gender and its expression should be left up to the individual and not to society. But unfortunately, we live in a world where disobeying the rules leads to suffering through persecution.

Transition is one way to treat your “gender expression deprivation anxiety” (thank you Anne Vitale for that wonderful term) but it is not the sole method. However, denying that the feelings are real is a recipe for dep…