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my version of a double life

Leading a double life is not an obvious thing by any means but it seems to work for me. My psyche is happiest when I think of myself as a man and as a woman. It need not be objective truth; it just needs to work. The precise balance has taken tweaking and practice to get right and I'm still perfecting it.

Some things I now only do as a woman. For example, I had never been to my car dealership for servicing as a female. When I first tried this some years ago I was extremely nervous because I was more concerned about how I would be perceived than how it would make me feel. Going to church was something I could do because it did not require interaction but this presented a different challenge.

Like with everything else practice makes perfect. I no longer think about how I am dressed and proceed about my business. My confidence has taken a huge boost in the process and spilled over into other areas of my life. For decades I did what I thought I should do and never allowed myself the possibility to do what was right for me. Well now is that time.

Today I got my winter tires installed and it was Joanna who presented herself. As usual I had a nice chat with the receptionist.

Comments

  1. you are so correct we are similar in this way in that i like both selves. and at this point in my life i only need please me. so although i always attempt to blend in i don't fully care what anyone while i am out and about really thinks. but that has just come with confidence over time. ironically i have GG's not willing to believe that i am not a GG LOL. most times if the store of place only knows me as diana they won't even know or recognize me as my male self. but when reversed they will pick up on my smile or facial outline. which i think is oronic.

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