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our psyche

I think it’s important to realize that we are susceptible to our psyches and to the idea that we are what we think. Gender dysphoria can be like a kind of deceiver can tempt us into thinking that we were really meant to be women. I know I have said that I don’t consider myself to be ill but despite the strength and tenacity of the dysphoria I experience, I try not to give in to that type of thinking. These are just thoughts and after so many years I have finally taught myself not to trust them. I just allow them to ebb and flow into my daily life and to enjoy dressing so I can calm the anxiety that my dysphoria brings.

I am not saying that this need be your answer but if you really examine your thought process, eventually you may figure out a solution for yourself which may not require transition. One day you might hit your personal sweet spot where things fall into place.

Our minds are very powerful organs and can be rewired. I recently watched a program on Netflix called “Happy” and part of it dealt with people who had trained their minds through the practice of meditation. This particular gentleman who had been a Buddhist for several decades had brain scan readings that were off the charts. He was hitting all of the right sweet spots in his brain and was deliriously content and serene.

I think it’s possible for us to do the same and have our minds come to rest after so many years of unrest.


  1. hi Joanna, sorry its taken me so long to get back to this - I clearly can't match your dedication! But I had to relate this anecdote. For about 15 years I practised Zen buddhist meditation daily, went on many retreats and had some profound experiences, in the quest for some relief from my dis-ease. I wouldn't say that I achieved the depth of clarity of the monk that you referred to, but the legacy of that period lives on when I remember to just breathe. I can recommend meditation as a practice for acceptance along with honest introspection. but there is an amusing part of this story. Mostly I would practice in some loose fitting cotton pants and tunic. One time, I went on a retreat at a place where the custom was for all the participants to wear a supplied long robe, in a very fine cotton. The whole of the retreat I was distracted by the thought and sensation of how this robe reminded me of being in a very long skirt! On that occasion, sublimation escaped me, and I understood that meditation is helpful, but for me it could not be the whole answer. Understanding is key.
    Love, Barb

  2. Hi Barbara I am glad that this practice helped you and while I do not do it myself I used the example to illustrate the idea of how powerful our minds are and how we can train them to suit our purposes.


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