Skip to main content

sane

To answer Mario Red who posted on my blog the question of how do we know we are sane? I think we are and I would argue that we are even more sane than most.

Most of us gender dysphorics are extremely curious about what makes us tick and why we are this way. No one wants to be abnormal and once we notice this difference of ours early on in our lives many of us desperately want to understand it.

I hold two university degrees, speak three languages and have worked in a challenging technical field for 25 years. I am literate and can hold my own with anyone on just about any topic. I know I am perfectly sane and I started this blog as an extension of my lifelong curiosity about this very complex condition that we don’t seem to have answers for. We have needed to develop our own mythologies around it because no one is filling the void that exists between conjecture and reality.

One day, science will find a definitive answer.

Transgender people for the most part tend to be well educated and well read; we need to be in order to try and understand ourselves. But I think the danger can come in jumping to conclusions about what our condition means. You can believe what you want but that belief may or may not be correct.

It is the opinion of this blogger that you do the absolute minimum to stay mentally healthy and happy and that you do your homework before attempting something as dramatic as a physical transition. Many people have had their lives and marriages destroyed because of it and the results are not always better on the other side.

I have attempted to stick to whatever science exists and to feature it here because it bears examining. Blanchard, Benjamin and others observed the same things but their conclusions were different. For Benjamin it was a psychopathological disorder possibly originating at birth while for Blanchard it’s borne more out of sexual paraphilia rooted in childhood. The fact is that no one really knows for sure but the condition is real because we deal with it every day of our lives.

So are we sane? You better believe we are.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…