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epilogue

I wasn’t going to write anything here ever again because I didn’t feel I needed to. I don’t think I’ve ever felt better about my identity and feeling right in my own skin. It’s gotten even better than when I wrote my last blog post.

I have been still reading and looking at some of the posts from others and am glad for many of them as I can see they are mostly happy even if they might still be searching.

I don’t worry about my gender or what I am supposed to do anymore; I simply do what feels right. For now that means living my life in both gender roles and in neither because I have completely removed myself from the expectations that I thought I should be fulfilling. I have endeavoured instead to make myself happy and in return allowed those who depend on me and love me see a more relaxed and content person.

I maintain that the key to all this is to just be yourself. Be the person you were meant to because no one has a right to define that for you. You were given the ability to discern and make choices that fit the image you have of yourself; the image you wish to portray to the world.

Life is fleeting and so short and most of us only find out what its all about in our later years. Don’t wait to be the person you were meant to only at the end. No matter where you think you lie on the gender spectrum there is no right or wrong answer but simply YOUR answer. It’s probably going to be the right one too.

That friend of mine finally succumbed to his pancreatic cancer at age 58 and I have been thinking of him often. His passing has inspired to live an even more honest life.

Love the person you are inside and out and you will find peace.

Comments

  1. Joanna,
    It is always nice to see you add another post to the blogosphere. You have a good way of using words to express emotions and events.
    I am so happy that you have found a peace and a form of gender equilibrium. You are a good soul and that should be evident to all that you meet.
    Please do not be a total stranger to the cyberworld.
    Pat

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  2. Lovely to hear from you! I'm glad you are doing well. It took me half a century to come to terms with my place within the gender spectrum (fine tuning is still going on and will probably never end).
    I will not say I was unhappy all my life, far from it, but I have always known something was a miss but could not put a finger on it until a year ago when Abigale learnt to fly. From this new perspective I recognised that I had answered some deep underlying questions I didn’t know I had asked myself!
    I have no regrets that it took so long (ok, a few). I’m more content with who I am in this last year than ever before. This contentment comes from being able to express a side of me that has until now been mainly dormant apart from the odd outbreak. The blog helps me coordinate my thoughts and with daily contact with new found friends around the world I can interact and show and discuss my feelings without being ridiculed and/or misunderstood.
    I am glad you are happy and content with your true nature. This inner peace reflects outwards and benefits you and your love ones.
    I hope we can all one day reach this goal.
    All the best Joanna
    Abigale

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