Skip to main content

epilogue

I wasn’t going to write anything here ever again because I didn’t feel I needed to. I don’t think I’ve ever felt better about my identity and feeling right in my own skin. It’s gotten even better than when I wrote my last blog post.

I have been still reading and looking at some of the posts from others and am glad for many of them as I can see they are mostly happy even if they might still be searching.

I don’t worry about my gender or what I am supposed to do anymore; I simply do what feels right. For now that means living my life in both gender roles and in neither because I have completely removed myself from the expectations that I thought I should be fulfilling. I have endeavoured instead to make myself happy and in return allowed those who depend on me and love me see a more relaxed and content person.

I maintain that the key to all this is to just be yourself. Be the person you were meant to because no one has a right to define that for you. You were given the ability to discern and make choices that fit the image you have of yourself; the image you wish to portray to the world.

Life is fleeting and so short and most of us only find out what its all about in our later years. Don’t wait to be the person you were meant to only at the end. No matter where you think you lie on the gender spectrum there is no right or wrong answer but simply YOUR answer. It’s probably going to be the right one too.

That friend of mine finally succumbed to his pancreatic cancer at age 58 and I have been thinking of him often. His passing has inspired to live an even more honest life.

Love the person you are inside and out and you will find peace.

Comments

  1. Joanna,
    It is always nice to see you add another post to the blogosphere. You have a good way of using words to express emotions and events.
    I am so happy that you have found a peace and a form of gender equilibrium. You are a good soul and that should be evident to all that you meet.
    Please do not be a total stranger to the cyberworld.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lovely to hear from you! I'm glad you are doing well. It took me half a century to come to terms with my place within the gender spectrum (fine tuning is still going on and will probably never end).
    I will not say I was unhappy all my life, far from it, but I have always known something was a miss but could not put a finger on it until a year ago when Abigale learnt to fly. From this new perspective I recognised that I had answered some deep underlying questions I didn’t know I had asked myself!
    I have no regrets that it took so long (ok, a few). I’m more content with who I am in this last year than ever before. This contentment comes from being able to express a side of me that has until now been mainly dormant apart from the odd outbreak. The blog helps me coordinate my thoughts and with daily contact with new found friends around the world I can interact and show and discuss my feelings without being ridiculed and/or misunderstood.
    I am glad you are happy and content with your true nature. This inner peace reflects outwards and benefits you and your love ones.
    I hope we can all one day reach this goal.
    All the best Joanna
    Abigale

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…