Skip to main content

The grand reveal

Seeing Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair really hit home for me.

Although I am 12 years younger than Jenner, we both come from the same generation that predated the internet. Back then we lived in the dark and suffered in silence in thinking we were the only people in the world who doubted their gender identity. We would surreptitiously look up books in the library trying to understand what was wrong with us and why we were such freaks of nature.

Now at 65 years of age, she is finally having her coming out party.

No doubt that Caitlyn’s grand reveal will be a boost to the transgender community if for no other reason than to put the issue of gender dysphoria even more on the public radar. Kids who grew up watching Jenner on the Kardashian reality series (which I confess to never having viewed) now can witness a media figure undergo a very public gender role transition.

Much to her credit, she presented herself to the world with glamour and style. She looks like a woman at ease with her body and happy with herself probably for the first time in her life. Seeing her on the cover jars me into the realization that the world has become so much smaller and more transparent than the one I knew growing up.

We had to hide from the world and pretend the feelings we had were hallucinations of a delusional mind. In retrospect we know better but during those times it was hard.

I suppose it’s easy when you have money to do what she is doing; other transgender people are far less lucky. Her kids are grown and no longer depend on her and she has waited all this time presumably for their benefit. We all want to do right by the families who didn’t ask to have a father with a deep dark secret. I applaud her fortitude for having proceeded in this way.

Enduring the heckling of reporters and derision from media spectators hungry for public fails, this might be her moment of triumph to put those detractors in their place.

Here’s hoping that she proves to be another worthy role model and joins others who have already gone before her.


Comments

  1. Those "hallucinations of a delusional mind" were so hard weren't they? I just thought I was insane for so long.

    She is older than I by three years??? Good for Caitlyn!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Indeed they were Halle. I just put my mind into other things and pretended it wasn't there.

    ReplyDelete

Post a comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…