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Out from the shadows

Kristen Beck and Caitlyn Jenner through their notoriety are showing us a different side of being transgender. They both came out in public and transitioned before our very eyes. Now they actively trying to serve as role models for all the different generations of transgendered people who fear being seen in public or being shunned by their families for simply being who they are.

In the past transgendered people would either live in the closet or hurry up and physically transition so they could blend into society. Those were the only options available back then.

Today even androphilic transwomen like Andreja Pejic and Janet Mock are transitioning publicly and embracing their nature instead of being ashamed of it. They want everyone to know that they weren’t born as genetic females and they are proud of the journey they have chosen for themselves.

This new way of seeing transgendered people has been hard fought and it will continue to tread new ground through public education, legislation and court battles. It will embolden those who up until now have lived in the shadows ashamed, scared and paralysed with fear due to fear of rejection.

I must admit that I never thought that this would happen in my lifetime and even as I know that we are not where we should be, my faith in the ability of most decent people to learn and adapt has been elevated to a new level.

Yes the haters and detractors will always be with us but the door to a brave new world has been opened and there is no going back.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…