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the transgender brain

There is no conclusive evidence about the origin of gender dyphoria but one thing that seems to be clear is that the condition is not tied to overt femininity. Like in the non-transgender population, there are more feminine and less feminine people in our group. It does seem to somewhat line up with sexual orientation where the most effeminate boys would otherwise just be gay men.

But there are other people who are neither overtly feminine nor masculine who suffer from dysphoria and some might typically invest much energy trying to "man up" in order to avoid suspicion and to try and cure themselves of their condition.

One thing is clear: there are very effeminate men and very masculine women who do not suffer dysphoria and are perfectly happy with who they are. Therefore I think that the assertion that a male to female dysphoric having an intrinsically female brain is false. What is more likely is that the brain has been sufficiently feminized to create a conflict. But why for some and not for others? This remains a mystery.

Perhaps it takes a combination of factors to create a transgender individual and it takes only the absence of one of those to avoid the condition. This seems likely as this would help explain why flamboyantly gay men and butch lesbians suffer no gender dysphoria.

I know that in many ways I think like a typical male albeit one that is not overtly macho. In my daily life as a male few people would guess that I was different than any other man and yet I am. Part of this is due to my having rejected all feminine aspects of my personality while I was growing and needing to compartmentalize them into the person that would become Joanna.

I seem to be incapable of morphing these two animas perfectly together and I am not sure I want to at this point. One reason is that I don't favour androgyny for myself and want to be able to wear the female clothing I like without the worry of overt attention.

I don't think I will ever fully understand what makes me tick and, since I am as much a product of biology as social conditioning, trying to remodel myself at this age might be futile.

What I do see is that the less energy young people invest in their birth sex the more easily they assimilate the traits, mannerisms and thinking of their chosen gender role.



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