Skip to main content

dying of embarrassment

I remember experiencing a great deal of embarassment over being gender dysphoric.

My recovery from this embarassment happened in little steps rather than noticable jumps. I worked at questioning and examining my own internal prejudices which were conspiring to delay my advancement as a human being.

We are endowed with many gifts as well as some challenges in this life and I think the secret is to make the best of everything you are facing rather than ignoring the difficult aspects of our lives. We can find enrichment when we face things head on and with absolute honesty. The challenge becomes separating social myth from reality which is often the toughest part.

I remember vividly watching the Carol Burnett show in 1971 (I was 9) and seeing Jim Bailey perform as Peggy Lee. The profound embarassment I felt coupled with the understanding that I was drawn to the idea of being in that dress made me bolt from the room. I dared not show my family any hint of an expression that would betray me. That profound unease did not fully leave me until just a few years ago; it was that much engrained in my psyche. I would have done anything to eradicate my dysphoria.

Self acceptance, however, has not meant that I throw away an entire life I have built but rather allowing myself to embrace something which I previously rejected.

Whether others like it or not you are transgender and you deserve to be okay with that.

Now in retrospect, I am hard pressed to remember what exactly was so embarrassing.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…