Skip to main content

knowing how to proceed

How do non dysphoric children know what gender they are?

Well it turns out that they know this relatively early. Even before they are socialized there are behavioural traits that make themselves known. These markers are often what we describe as typically male or female behaviour. I suppose if you tried hard enough you could dissuade the child from behaving in a way that is natural for them but if left alone they will follow their instincts.

I believe that this is biologically hard wired in them at birth.

Now consider a dysphoric brain that has either been completely or partially reversed and is not in alignment with birth sex. That child will exhibit traits and behaviour that is typical of the opposite sex. Of course we understand that there are people without dysphoria that behave atypically and peers might notice but I think these might be mild variations that don't necessarily produce a gender conflicted child. At worst they may be called tomboys or sissies and may grow up to be a lesbian or gay adult with no gender identity conflict to speak of.

The fact that these young trans kids do not identify with their birth sex can sometimes resolve itself but other times it doesn't. Knowing how much to intervene is becoming a difficult question and caution should be exercised. Some of these children are deeply dysphoric and will benefit from transition while others will realign themselves naturally and be happy living as their birth sex.

Here is a link to an article warning about the dangers about acting too quickly. The author herself suffered from gender confusion but it resolved itself by the end of adolescence. She is a woman who is perhaps more masculine than most but identifies as a female nonetheless.

In the article, she states:

"Outgrowing my discomfort resulted from the realization that gender does not need to be binary. To this day, I still feel that I am more masculine than most natal females, but also much more feminine than most natal males. We can have the best of both worlds."

It’s a nice read and can be found here.


Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…