Skip to main content

learning from a drag queen

When it comes to being comfortable with expressing femininity it seems that drag queens have an edge over heterosexual males. But why is this?

I think part of the reason stems from the fact that as young boys these future gay men are naturally feminine to start. If you were to introduce gender dysphoria into their lives they typically transition early and successfully meld their natural characteristics with a body that matches their inclinations.

When drag queens dress as women there isn't the same emotional investement nor is there the dilemma of feeling they are going against their programming. They dress for spectacle and fun and there is no hint of arousal since neither the clothing nor the genetic female herself holds any interest for them.

When I was coming to terms with my dysphoria the hardest thing to get rid of was that awkwardness I felt when realizing that I was going against expectation. Men who like women aren't supposed to dress like nor emulate them. In order to attract one you understand very early on that you need to be a conventional male and rid yourself of this interest you harbor but cannot comprehend.

The drag queen has no such pressure to conform and as a result they are loose with their bodies and even revel in exaggerating traditionally feminine mannerisms. But its not the big hair nor over the top makeup that is admirable but rather their attitude.

As I have gotten older and my taboos have disappeared, I plunge myself more comfortably into feminine expression without reservation. This helps control and manage my dysphoric feelings and makes my interactions as Joanna far more rewarding and genuine.

There is definitely something we can learn from them.


  1. the biggest lesson i get from drag queens too loosen up....don't let gender dysphoria mess you up and feel inadequate or guilty or whatever weird feelings you have inside when you go back and forth across the gender spectrum......just have fun......enjoy it....enjoy your femininity and honestly enjoy your own dysphoria......let it excite you .....let it make you happy.....and most of all ...let it make you feel alive........

  2. I could not agree more Liza and this aspect took me the longest to understand. Now that I do things feel a whole lot better....

  3. Hi

    We would like to Invite you and anyone you know to Our First Ever Dream Angel or Devil Drag Queen Contest!

    We would like to take the time out to support LGBT Community and Sponsor Our First Time Ever "Dream Angel - "Devil" Drag Queen Contest”.

    We know you have a Little Devil in You at Times and Sometimes You are Just a Pure Angel!

    Submit Photos or Videos of Yourself in Your Best Outfit.
    The Sooner You Submit, the Better Your Chances are To Win.

    Enter Coupon Code “free shipping” to receive Free Shipping on You Next Order!

    Thanks for taking the time to read this message!

    24416 Main Street, Suite #310
    Carson, CA 90745


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. The female side is no longer an unwelcome appendage which, as a result, has allowed me to craft a more genuine and happier male image.

I dress when I want to and sometimes I cut outings shorter than before. I am my own master in this regard and feel in control.

Don't get me wrong in that the dysphoria is not going away and is sometimes like a wild stallion that threatens to jump the fence but I have learnt to understand it’s demands after all these years hence a transition for me is definitely not in the cards. At this point I am not even foreseeing a social one.

The two sides are no longer in conflict and they are now intertwined to create a fusion that is unique to me. That answer finally came when I reached a full level of self assurance about who I am and learned to embrace that I am trans and yes, that includes my dysphoria's erotic undertones…