Skip to main content

Those with an agenda....

GenderTrender is a website run by a trans-exclusive radical feminist (TERF). I never go there but in reading one of Julia Serano’s posts I saw a link to a reference to Michael Bailey and followed it. This statement caught my eye:

“Autogynephilic men who transition to become transwomen deserve some sympathy, and they have had mine. But their plight is much more akin to a normal heterosexual man’s midlife crisis decision to leave his wife for another woman than it is to their preferred narrative. The heterosexual man in midlife crisis also deserves some sympathy. But so does the family he is leaving.”

This pronouncement is made rather glibly and I can certainly speak to it since she is potentially referring to someone who fits my profile.

After being forced out of my own marriage for sporadic and secretive crossdressing I can honestly say that I did not deliberately leave my family behind. I see my children regularly and my daughter lives with me 2 nights a week. She could care less whether I crossdress or not and wonders why people care so much. I have been deeply dysphoric all of my life and have more than once weighed the idea of transition but have decided against it. It’s been a tough haul to get to where I am now.

So when I see another example of someone misrepresenting who I am and making a statement without an immediate understanding of what dysphoria is like, it makes me wonder about some people's motivations.

To suggest that gynephilic dysphoric males are transitioning in order to usurp the roles of genetic women is not only bordering on paranoia but it hints at an unstable mind. It's certainly not a plan I devised for myself growing up but I am sure its the kind of hyperbole that plays well to its intended audience; a militant but tiny sliver of the female population.

If there is one thing I would like to see change in this world is people weighing in on things they have never experienced first-hand. It’s hard to imagine a person leaving a marriage behind to undergo a gender role transition (something which 99% of men would never even conceive of) but to compare that decision to being on par with a mid-life crisis borders on the moronic.

Not only does this person not have any sympathy, but I seriously doubt they have very strong relationships with caring and loving people.

This kind of commentary can be found at the end of every single article where the topic of transgender people is dealt with. It speaks to the challenges ahead and to the type of individuals that we must be alert to.

One thing is to search for understanding but quite another is a deliberate attempt to misrepresent.


Comments

  1. i must say i agree with you 100 percent....well said...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…