Skip to main content

our biological programming

The combination of gender expression, gender identity and sexual orientation is actually far more complex than a visual inspection of society would have you believe; it’s just that many people don’t present themselves as they might like to.

Societal pressure is an enormously powerful weapon that, when combined with early conditioning, form a formidable force in arresting the non-conformance of people who are inclined to be different.

If tomorrow we were to relax all norms pertaining to gender behavior in our children, we would start to see some of them naturally gravitate towards their own blend of masculine and feminine. The question we must then ask ourselves is: what is inherently wrong with that?

In the past, these children were made to conform and thus were exposed to the psychological stress that comes with such adherence. But what if we softened the gender rules instead of forcing the child to choose from a predetermined model?

Our psychologists carry their own bias with them. They themselves are a product of the same education and hence are often not helpful. I featured a recent post where I wrote that psychology is not a science. Many of us have been to counseling as children or as adults and have been exposed to the biases of educators, clergy or these same psychologists who understand little of what we are facing as transgender people.

I have often reflected on how much of gender dysphoria is biological and how much is created through repression. Might some people suffer much less by virtue of being allowed from day one to express gender as they wish instead of being exposed to indoctrination?

Today as we slowly move away from a pathological model of gender variance and towards a more tolerant one, I expect we will see happier and healthier individuals who feel free to be themselves. Instead of fashioning their behavior after an artificial model which goes against their very nature, they will be able to respect the inclinations that come with their biological programming.




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

the risks of downplaying dysphoria

Kati’s comment on my post called “Doubting you are trans” got me thinking about the validity of our feelings and the importance of not downplaying them.

Make no mistake: gender dysphoria is real and you are not delusional and by trying to downplay our emotional need to express ourselves we are making a mistake.

At the same time, I am very realistic about what I am doing to treat my dysphoria and understand that I was not born physically female. However, the idea that gender identity is established exclusively through birth genitalia has been pretty convincingly debunked which means that gender and its expression should be left up to the individual and not to society. But unfortunately, we live in a world where disobeying the rules leads to suffering through persecution.

Transition is one way to treat your “gender expression deprivation anxiety” (thank you Anne Vitale for that wonderful term) but it is not the sole method. However, denying that the feelings are real is a recipe for dep…