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self indulgence

One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome was the notion that by treating my gender dysphoria through cross gender expression I was somehow being self indulgent. When I think back now it makes little sense but at the time I truly did feel this way.

Imagine needing to eat or sleep. Is it somehow self indulgence when we do either? And yet there I was stuck in this loop of guilt about doing something that was a natural part of my psyche. Needless to say not everyone is going to like it but they are not you and have no intrinsic understanding of what it's like to be transgender.

Removing that obstacle is the only way out.

Perhaps you believe that you caused your own dysphoria in which case nothing I say here will dissuade you from your mindset. It took me the longest time to accept that I was not responsible for the way I was.

The fly in the ointment of course is the fact that most of us never announced this difference of ours when we entered into relationships. I was one of those as well. However the alternative is to continue to live with what Anne Vitale so aptly terms "gender expression deprivation anxiety" until it all comes crashing down in later life as a crisis.

I could have avoided that pitfall but I didn't. Perhaps you can.

Be who you are as early in life as you possibly can. Be up front and honest and live your life that way always. Hardly the stuff of self indulgence but more like transparency and respect for one's nature and for your partner.

Comments

  1. There is that old saying "Youth is wasted on the young". In our case, it is also the fact that our understanding of transgenderism as well as the transformation of society to a somewhat more open to diversity and the discussion of it environment will also make it easier on the young. Hopefully, the young will be able to live a life that wastes less of their youth.

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    1. You are entirely correct Leann. We understood very little when we were younger plus at that time there was scarce information at best. I am glad that today's young have much more access to information as well as treatment options that we did not have.

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