Skip to main content

crossdressing is a verb

I know that some of you refer to yourselves as crossdressers and the intent of this post is not to denigrate that description.

The act of cross dressing seems to be a primordial need in many of us from a very tender age. We remember going into our mother's closet and trying on her shoes and clothing all the while never understanding why. It was simply our normal.

Anne Vitale, who has treated over 500 transsexuals, has stated on her site that in virtually every case there was some period during which the individual crossdressed. This could be weeks, months or years. Here the act of crossdressing becomes a way of connecting to the expression of femininity and a female essence that resides within.

Some of these people may have identified as crossdressers at one stage and progressed while others clearly understood their transsexuality but could not wait any longer to express their inherent female nature.

Crossdressing is a tool to mitigate and control gender dysphoria as well as for some to preview life before transition. In other words, it is an activity and not a descriptor for a person.

Over the last 30 years I have read a great many websites chronicling the lives of transgender people and very few I can recall beginning to experiment with cross gender expression in their adult years. This was something which seemed hard wired and an essential need. It therefore manifested itself very early on in adolescence.

Gender dysphoria seems to clearly be a graded spectrum and hence variable in intensity. Those who can soothe it through cross gender expression often feel comfortable adopting the moniker of crossdresser. For some the descriptor will last a lifetime while for others (think Virginia Prince as an example) it serves as a transient state until another plateau is reached. I have addressed how dysphoria varies with age in a previous post.

I no longer describe myself as a crossdresser although as recently as 5 years ago I did. This is not because I intend to move things along but more because I felt it did not adequately describe me as an individual. Also because the term for many outside our community seemed to suggest a hobbyst who simply donned women's clothes for amusement.

Ultimately you know best what applies to you. How you go about explaining to another human being who knows nothing of this why this makes up part of your essence is often hard to pin down in words.

Speaking strictly for myself, the term crossdresser entirely misses the mark.



Comments

  1. Joanna,
    I too stopped using the term crossdresser several years ago. I may crossdress but I consider myself to be bi-gender as this describes who I am.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've got to believe that virtually all trans folks, MtF or FtM, started out at an early age by crossdressing.

    Featured this post on T-Central.

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks for the feeback Calie and for the feature on T-central!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…