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dealing with reality

We have reached a place where it does not matter one whit what anyone thinks of us.

The sheer amount of exposure is forcing the hand of governments, public institutions and private companies to act and treat us with respect. What is helping is that transgender people come from all walks of life and among themselves they represent a mini cross section of society. Hence their credibility continues to grow.

We are lawyers, academics, scientists, teachers, engineers, actors and we are out in a public way as never before. That reality must be addressed because we are not going away and our number (although statistically small) gives us credibility. Some highly intelligent and well placed individuals are transgender.

It no longer matters what the detractors think because we are not going away and we cannot be healed through shock treatment or psychotherapy.

The Blanchardians, the ultra-orthodox, the feminists and the politically conservative can have their input but it will change nothing since this is not an issue that requires the opinions of myopic people on a subject that even we who experience it can barely comprehend.

Here is where reality trumps conjecture.

The Obama administration, my own Canadian government and the leaderships of other countries are enacting laws to protect our rights. They must deal with the reality that people need to transition or at least lead authentic lives instead of killing themselves or living with constant depression.

With numbers this significant you cannot claim mass delusion or moral decay since many of us are upstanding citizens with exemplary records.

We just happen to be transgender.


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"Oh please its 2016!"

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We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

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However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

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You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

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I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…