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empowering everyone

The fact is that reaction to transgender people in society is not consummate with their representation in number. When you think about it there is little sense in the reaction of some people given that we are talking about 1 to 3% of the population.

The reason some of the feedback is so negative is that trans people challenge what it means to be a man or a woman which for some is an affront to everything they thought they knew about sex and gender. If you happened to have been brought up in a less than tolerant household then you are that much more likely to have strong negative feelings about the issue.

When I see the attitudes of the young today, it amazes me. They have little trouble with gender variant people whether they transition or not. This has liberated them to a great degree and removed the pressure among them in needing to adhere to specific ways of dressing or behaving.

It is in fact the older people who are having the most trouble adapting since they were brought up in an immovable and unyielding binary model which had little room for malleability. Whatever variances were out there needed to be hidden away and kept inside the privacy of people’s homes which only added to the impression that they were sick or perverted.

It will take another generation to wipe out all traces of resistance and since gender variance isn’t something you catch but instead something you are born with, people will realize that there is little to fear.

If anything letting people be themselves will only empower everyone and lead to a better and more tolerant society.


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Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…