Skip to main content

far from monolithic

Being transgender doesn’t mean we are all the same; far from it. In fact when you remove this as a common factor we are as different from each other as any other random individuals.

Over the years there have been transgender people in the public eye who I have either liked or disliked. This is of course not based on intimate personal knowledge but more based on an impression when the person is interviewed and when one reads their statements or books.

One such person for me has been Jennifer Boylan. I don’t seem to like her very much.

Based on a host of television appearances and some of her statements on the internet I find myself thinking she is self-centered and a little bit haughty.

I remember seeing her on Larry King in the mid 2000’s and feeling very bad for her wife. Here she had turned the tables on the life she had undertaken with this woman she had married only to later reveal that she was I fact a woman and had been one all along. I suppose I can understand that because my dysphoria is certainly strong and I had been tempted to think along the same lines at one point. The thing that stuck in my craw the most however was the almost unapologetic tone as she described her absolute need to her life authentically as a woman.

Jennifer’s wife clearly had a large adaptation to make and yet it was glossed over during the interview.

Of course it’s to be expected that we won’t all like each other. I could also add Caitlyn Jenner as someone who I view as vapid and do not consider to be the best role model for the transgender community. It takes all kinds of people to make a world however.

There are blogs out there that I don’t care for and I am certain that my blog displeases many. My aim is not to seek out a large audience but to make observations about this issue that made my life so complicated for so long. Many of you have blogs which sometimes align or diverge from my own; this is both in tone, emphasis and viewpoint. I am glad for it because it would be boring otherwise.

With the more public face of our community people who have never experienced dysphoria will see that, aside from this difference we share, we are far from being a monolithic group.


  1. I would have to agree with you entirely.

    One assumption that I have made is to assume just because someone is transgender that we would be instantly friends. Over and over and especially in real life meetings I find that I meet other transgender girls and I don't necessarily find them as people who I want to be freinds with. At first it feels great to connect to other people but the rest is not just automatic instant friends. And that is ok with me... that is the way it should be.......and as you say the people that are in the public light are the same...some you like and some you don't....maybe that is a good sign....that we progress.....that the novelty is over....and we are all the same...just people living in the same fishbowl.

  2. I agree with you Liza, I want people to see beyond the transgender part and just see a person. Like them or not they are who they are....

    1. Sly and the Family Stone sang "different strokes for different folks". Perhaps the inverse is more on point "different folks for different strokes".


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…