Skip to main content

oh joy....

If being transgender were such a gift, transgender women wouldn't be killed and people would be accepted by their own families. Most of us would have grown up expressing gender the way we felt comfortable. We also wouldn't have struggled so long to attain self acceptance.

The fact is that being an anomaly is rarely seen as a good thing in our society and because of that, I have learnt to live with how I am. It certainly didn't come without much grief.

Growing up different gives you perspective and that isn't a bad thing. Challenges can encourage growth and allow us to have empathy for others.

This difference of ours is less accepted than others because it is little understood. This has left the field open for speculation and ideas which aim to injure and assign blame to transgender people themselves.

But every transgender person knows that they had nothing to do with their own creation. They do however have a certain amount of control over what they do.

Today I am neither overjoyed nor upset about the way I am. I have come to accept it the way someone accepts being born with a setback which they then learn to appreciate as bringing some good. At first all is bleak but then a light is switched on inside.

As I write this I have a wonderful woman in my life and two great kids who are making their way to adulthood. I have health for now and that is all that matters. Money comes and goes but peace of mind is worth so much more.

So yes there can be joy while being transgender. It just needs to fit into your life rather than have it be your life.

Comments

  1. i have to argree. Being transgender has certainly been a challenge but it has also given me great gifts. I see the world in a more complete and balanced perspective. I also have a family....a wife and two great kids and so it is important to keep things in harmony.

    I certainly to wonder what life would be like if being transgender was completely accepted, even encouraged in people who showed signs of it. I just wonder what potential I had and who I would have become.

    ReplyDelete
  2. it would have been nice to know for me as well Liza. I grew up with so much suppression.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…