Skip to main content

the power of clothing

In a way clothing does have power. It helps us to outwardly express ourselves and show a certain image to the world. In the case of the transgender person it allows us an experience (however small or large) of what living on the other side of the gender divide might be like.

Women have traditionally had more sartorial freedom than men but that is entirely our own fault because we undervalue women in our society therefore see any form of emulation as being negative.

Things are starting to change however.

I am seeing a wider variety of gender expression among young men. The other day on the subway a stubble faced man in his early twenties was sporting black nail polish and a tunic that went down to his knees. He looked comfortable and was unassuming.

I have asked both my children how gender nonconformance is viewed by their generation and both of them know of examples of peers who fit this description. My son has a female classmate who desires to be addressed in male pronouns and is dressing entirely masculine. No one is the least bit phased nor is this person being subject to ridicule.

No matter what our genitals look like, gender identity is entirely in the mind and for some people it can be fluid. Therefore our ability to use clothing as a form of expression becomes an important tool in our arsenal.

I am entirely comfortable moving back and forth and do not like to mix but others favour androgyny. The limits are only for you to decide on and once you find a formula that works for you there is a wonderful and peaceful feeling of balance that awaits you.

The hardest part is self-acceptance and after that is the acceptance from family and friends.

I underestimated how hard the first one would be and overestimated the second. If I had known the truth my path would have been far easier.

Now get out there and be yourself.


Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…