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your personal truth

I have always wondered what made me gravitate towards emulating my mother and entering her closet in the first place at such a young age. By the age of 3 or 4 I was being scolded for wearing her shoes and that memory became permanently burned in my memory as the beginning of a road to denial that would endure for over 40 years.

I wasn't demonstrably effeminate when very young and when I hit puberty I knew I liked girls but my outside behavior was largely governed by my ability to mimic what I was expected to show. I was a thin, sensitive and shy kid who knew how to accommodate and I grew up during a time when gender behavior was strictly enforced in a deeply religious and conservative country.

The two type taxonomy people who follow Blanchard say that people like me are lying to ourselves but it is they who are lying to us. It was very simple and convenient for Blanchard to accuse someone of lying when their testimony didn’t match what he was trying to prove. But I know my truth and so do others like me and it is unquestionable to us.

Blanchard’s work is on the way out anyway but it still leaves the question as to why we are so inclined.

Another question that fascinates me is the engine that drives a gynephilic transsexual to transition. What is the dividing line between someone who crossdresses from a very young age but is happy to remain that way and the person who at some point feels compelled to transition. Both experience arousal which wanes with age so what is the difference?

No one really knows.

In fact we don’t know what we are talking about most of the time when it comes to sex and gender because the science is so incredibly lacking. I always say here that this void is filled by all types of charlatans and their pseudoscientific websites and articles all leading towards inconclusive results. Brain studies tease us with potential answers but just add more questions to the mix. its all a bit like trying to understand the nature of the universe and that of its creator.

The most important truth is to understand yourself from the inside out and know what will make you happy. Opinions are like assholes in that everyone has one and the politics that govern gender behavior are loosening slowly every day.

Know yourself and proceed accordingly.


  1. i always wonder if we had a perfect all accepting and loving society that if by early years of childhood a transgender child who had such feelings was given the full support from their family and friend and neighbors what would happen......what would have happned to me if i had been given that kind of environment.....i'm sure i know the answer to that......


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