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conditional love

All of this openness about transgender issues in the media is showing everyone what we already instinctively knew: that there isn't really a perfect gender binary. Fear of prejudice and rejection kept people from coming out.

Well now they're out and it's a bit of a kaleidoscope. Yes there are cases that make us shake our head and so what? People have a right to express themselves so long as they do no harm to others.

We are still talking about a statistically small slice of the population but it would make little sense if there were anomalies everywhere else in nature expect in this area. What we do now is pivotal and the policies and laws that nations adopt will have far reaching effects on the ability of transgender and transsexual people to lead normal and productive lives.

But even if you identify as neither you should expect protection from laws meant to safeguard freedom of expression and diversity.

I grew up in an extremely religious household and yet the extremism of some people today disturbs me. Some Christians claim to follow Christ and yet compliment that with a disdain for anything they do not comprehend or does not fit into their little black and white portrait of how things should be.

If you have lived a while you will note just how little the concept of black and white actually describes the world we live in.

People want to be loved and will forsake being themselves in order to obtain that most precious commodity. This is what makes us think we need to conform and in some cases that turns out to be true. But is conditional love based on someone else's vision for your life ultimately the best kind?


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“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

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Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

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Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

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Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

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Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…