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don't be bullied

I have always been a nervous and edgy person; self aware and cautious about how I appeared to others. Some of this is undoubtedly tied to my gender issues and my need to cover them up and some I chalk up to a deep seated shyness which took many years to overcome.

I think that this combination made me a person who tended to comply. I accepted that this is how things had to be.

I have always had a curiosity about the world around me and had a hard time explaining the odd things I saw vis a vis human behaviour. It's only when I became older that I realised that the ways of the world didn't always make sense because they were steeped in the folly and imperfection of humanity.

It takes a long time to understand these lessons but as we age we understand that much about the world makes little sense. One of these lessons was that society's dictates regarding gender behavior are mostly invented and many of us have suffered needlessly.

The other important lesson I have learnt is that we need to let other people be who they are and try to respect that. At the same time you need to be yourself and respect your nature as a human being.

I don't know what it is like not to feel gender conflicted because it has always been with me. For people like us the best approach is not to let people bully you into being something you are not. Don't feel compelled to accommodate others just because they want you to live the way they do.

Your dysphoria demands another course of action but at the same time don't be bullied by a transgender community that tells you fulfillment lies in transition because there are too many train wrecks out there as evidence to the contrary.

On the one hand you have myopic and prejudiced individuals who know nothing telling you it's all mental illness and on the other militant transgender people telling you are being a fraud by not transitioning.

Don't be bullied by either and find your own way.

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