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feeding and starving gender dysphoria

I don't know if there are people who read this blog who still believe that the transgender condition is something to be repressed, controlled or even eradicated. This is something I strongly subscribed to for a good portion of my life. I no longer feel this is possible unless you are a recreational crossdresser (although I personally don't know of any) or eliminate your dysphoria outright through full transition.

With respects to management there are two important aspects: one is your right to express yourself and the other is how that expression affects those around you. This is a very delicate balance of give and take that hinges on the tolerance level of our partners, friends and extended family members. I have read so many varying stories here that there seems to be no perfect model.

The hardest part of this balancing act is being able to feed the demands of your dysphoria without caving in to it completely. This is no easy task but with compromise you might find an arrangement that works even if imperfectly. This involves monitoring how it ebbs and flows and knowing when to feed and when to starve it.

If you are still at the early stages of self acceptance you will find my words difficult to digest because your goal might still be partial or complete eradication of your feelings which I have come to realize is not possible. I believe the best approach couples complete self acceptance with a management formula that respects your life commitments. What that formula is, of course, depends on you.

I still see the odd site out there that proposes curing crossdressing as the key to personal salvation but the problem is that this is the opposite of what a gender dysphoric needs to hear as dressing is part of the management of gender dysphoria. What I have found in my own life is that suppression leads to stress, depression and unhappiness.

When you find that balance point everything will fall into place. If it were simple it wouldn't take so long but be patient with yourself and things will ultimately work for you.


  1. I agree with you and I am giving into mine. I have decided I will stop crossdressing as a boy and live as I am.... a girl.

    1. only you know best Susan. Best of luck!


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