Skip to main content

what keeps me going

What continues to drive this blog you ask? Scientific curiosity, a desire to help others like myself plus distaste for bullies, mean-spirited ignorants and of course pseudoscience masking as science.

It's a long and tough road for people like us most especially if you fall somewhere in the middle of Harry Benjamin's scale. This adds another level of complexity in that your dysphoria is never truly eliminated but instead requires managing.

Continuing to write this blog is my own small payback after years of struggling with what to do.

Since coming out to everyone save for my work, my life has improved immeasurably. I was carrying a piano on my back and since beginning this blog I have dropped it and moved on. During that learning process some of the things I read on the internet were wonderful and helpful and at the other end vile and despicable. This subject invites this because we are missing data.

But anger comes from fear and insecurity and I saw no better example of this than when I happened upon a site a few years ago where transitioned women were accusing one of their own of being a late transitioning transvestite. None of these women seemed at all happy and the vituperous tone used to defamate another person revealed it. As I said this subject invites it somehow.

The instincts that have guided you in your life are not going to lead you astray. If you ask the right questions you will find answers.

Happy New Year to one and all!


  1. Happy New Year Joanna. I am happy that I found your blog. I look forward to your advice and insights. Keep up the good work.


  2. Much appreciated Michelle. Happy New Year to you as well!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…