Skip to main content

when two worlds collide

Yesterday my two teens and I were in one of the Second Cup coffee outlets in Montreal. I approached the counter and looked at the young woman and knew I recognized her from somewhere. This has happened to all of us where we meet someone we've seen before in a different setting but you are at a loss to know from where.

I ordered and then immediately asked her where I knew her from. She then told me where and it dawned on me suddenly: for a time I had frequented her other other outlet she worked for previously only I had done so exclusively as Joanna. I chuckled and told her that she must have been a bit taken aback but then confided she had not been totally certain as to my gender identity. She only realized because I had made the connection first which helped her make hers.

I found this so amazing because I had been so confident and relaxed when I had visited her previous location, I never gave this aspect a second thought. I wasn't worrying about passing but then realized that if I had any doubts myself it would have tipped the scale towards her certainty I wasn't a woman.

It confirmed what I now know to be so true. Just be yourself and people will treat you respectfully and kindly.

My confidence and demeanor had left enough doubt in her mind as to my gender which in the past I would not have believed was even remotely possible.

The fact she now knows does not concern me in the least and in fact I am actually glad for it.





Comments

  1. I think that it is a wonderful step forward to add a friendly and confidential person who knows you both ways and treats you with respect regardless of your presentation.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
  2. A lovely story Joanna. You are clearly you, a lovely woman, no matter your presentation.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…