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when two worlds collide

Yesterday my two teens and I were in one of the Second Cup coffee outlets in Montreal. I approached the counter and looked at the young woman and knew I recognized her from somewhere. This has happened to all of us where we meet someone we've seen before in a different setting but you are at a loss to know from where.

I ordered and then immediately asked her where I knew her from. She then told me where and it dawned on me suddenly: for a time I had frequented her other other outlet she worked for previously only I had done so exclusively as Joanna. I chuckled and told her that she must have been a bit taken aback but then confided she had not been totally certain as to my gender identity. She only realized because I had made the connection first which helped her make hers.

I found this so amazing because I had been so confident and relaxed when I had visited her previous location, I never gave this aspect a second thought. I wasn't worrying about passing but then realized that if I had any doubts myself it would have tipped the scale towards her certainty I wasn't a woman.

It confirmed what I now know to be so true. Just be yourself and people will treat you respectfully and kindly.

My confidence and demeanor had left enough doubt in her mind as to my gender which in the past I would not have believed was even remotely possible.

The fact she now knows does not concern me in the least and in fact I am actually glad for it.


  1. I think that it is a wonderful step forward to add a friendly and confidential person who knows you both ways and treats you with respect regardless of your presentation.

  2. A lovely story Joanna. You are clearly you, a lovely woman, no matter your presentation.


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