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interactions with others

I enjoy interactions with people when I am out and about as Joanna.

The other day I was sitting next to two young women. One had a young baby and the other was clearly expecting. In looking over and smiling we began a brief exchange which led to my offering some parental tips. They assumed I was a mother and I did nothing to correct them. The entire conversation couldn't have lasted 5 minutes and yet it is these interactions and others that make my outings more intetesting and rewarding.

People who know me ask how I am and I do the same with them. In establishing a public identity this is what happens. You are recognized and greeted. This is in sharp contrast to my first timid outings in my early twenties where I would dread such interactions for fear of disclosure.

The biggest change, besides creeping age of course, has been my ability to embrace who I am. This has made a tremendous difference in my level of happiness and has spread to my entire life: male or female mode.

Your identity as a human being doesn't reside in your genitals it resides in your mind and soul. Whatever physical form that takes is up to you but you just have to honor that nature in order to feel whole. The great thing is that this is something that you get to define and not society at large.

Be yourself and do what feels right. Respect others and treat them the way you would like them to treat you and be amazed at how they interact with you.

There is a young woman at one of the Payless stores I have frequented who comes to me and gives me a hug upon seeing me. That is worth more than money.


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another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

Being transgender isn't exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality

If being transgender were exclusively a problem of aberrant sexuality, then I would seem to be an exception to the rule.

To date I have lived my life like a choir boy and have had low libido throughout. I have yet to ever see a porn film and both my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend complained about my lack of sex drive. I also knew I was different from a very young age.

This is why the accusation that male to female transgender persons attracted to women are perverts doesn’t hold much water with me. I was mortified when I hit puberty and realized that my desire to be female had taken on sexual overtones and I ended up, like most of you, repeatedly throwing things in the bin as a repudiation. In fact, accepting that my sexuality has been permanently impacted was the hardest pill to swallow in my journey to become a fully realized transgender person.

That is why I say to those who are still concerned about what outsiders who haven’t lived your personal experience have to say about you should l…