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no regrets

I had a very normal childhood.

I had two loving parents and we had a conventional family in every way. We went to church every Sunday and we were taught to be honest and respectful of others.

By the time I was 5 years old I knew I was different and knew well enough to hide it.

I would end up in my room alone using some item of my clothing as a skirt and pretend to be a girl when I was sure no one would barge in. As I got older and could be left alone at home I would raid my mother’s closet and try on her things always being careful to put everything back as I had found it.

Most of us cannot explain this desire and most of us did not ask for it. It simply was.

As I got older and became interested in girls I tried so hard to suppress it and succeeded for long periods but it caught up to me in my 12th year of marriage when everything came undone.

I know now with every fiber of my being that this is something you are born with. The best thing to do is to accept and not fight because doing so amounts to frustration. It’s better to learn that lesson sooner rather than later.

My life might have been different if I had accepted this reality sooner and yet I regret nothing.

Comments

  1. Brilliantly put, completely agree. Applying it? Hmmm, that's the tough one... x

    ReplyDelete
  2. ha ha I know its not easy Rhiannon!

    ReplyDelete

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