Skip to main content

now why didn't I think of that!!

If you read highly conservative or dogmatically religious websites and their depiction of the "transgender illusion" you will often see that one of the rationalizations they use is that you can't change someone's DNA. This revelation is somehow supposed to bring the person to their senses and realize how silly they were so they can exclaim: "now why didn't I think of that!"

When I read such nonsense I want to go to the author, tap on their skull and say: "hello anybody home?"

Maybe I am being just a tad sarcastic but you get my point.

Of course people with gender dysphoria understand this obvious observation but we are dealing with a mismatch that resides in the part of the brain that affects neither intelligence nor logic. Dysphoria feels like a disconnect between your birth sex and your target sex with the stronger varieties causing an extreme dissonance between them which must be addressed. There is no logic that is going to eliminate the feelings nor temper them and there is no known cure for dysphoria other than transition. Barring that there is only management.

Those who argue along the lines of biology must think that we are somehow trying to convince ourselves that we are genetic women when no such thing is actually possible. This argument infers that this is an issue of choice which of course it is not. Speaking for myself I would have rather grown up without gender dysphoria and not having had to adapt my life around it the way I have.

But let's say for the sake of argument that this delusion they claim saves someone's life and turns them into a happy and well adjusted human being. Would the issue of genetics be important then?

This is why I continue to maintain that the best resource for a gender dysphoric is another person who experiences it as even the most seasoned gender therapist does not have such a unique perspective. Even then, the best resource is yourself because no one can truly guide you in this area.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…