Skip to main content

understanding yourself

Over time I have come to realize that a key prerequisite for self-understanding involves a certain degree of dispassionate detachment. What do I mean by this?

Well when I was mired in my worst moments I was not able to think clearly or make full use of my cognitive skills because I was debilitated by my own emotional investment. Even if I don’t go back to my early entries here, I remember very well the conflict that raged within and I have chosen to keep that reflective history there for those who might want to see the progression.

When you truly feel free from shame, guilt and fear you will feel it and it’s not something I or anyone else can give you. It has to come from deep within. The best way I can describe my "before" would be emotional constipation driven by the fear of being found out. This was no way to live and it caught up to me eventually.

My only message from me to you is that I was an extremely tough nut to crack so if I can do it you most certainly can too.

Try and detach yourself from the emotions and truly reflect on what makes you tick. I guarantee that most of what you find is not of your making.

What is so particularly wonderful about that very fact is that you can then work on accepting who that person really is.


Comments

  1. As someone who has followed Joanna's progression from the outset of her blog I recommend newcomers to go back in time for an interesting and informative read that combines her personal journey with some of the best "T" scholarship on the web.
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat you have been a kind and consistent supporter of mine from the outset...I really appreciate that

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…