Skip to main content

a tip of the hat...

Ever since I found Jack Molay’s blog Crossdreamers I have learnt much. Not only about people like me but also others who have questioned their birth sex and have found other ways to cope. For example until I found his site, I never knew that there were people who dealt with this issue who never crossdressed. I have also learnt about female crossdreaming and how genetic women cope on their end of the spectrum.

Jack’s site is the best I have found on the web for discussing issues of gender identity and expression. It is all presented in the spirit of trying to help people cope with any distress they may harbor or just to add their point of view to the discussion. A place for literate and intellectual dialogue but also a place to vent frustration.

It is good to know that there is a venue where you can find a kindred spirit and share your thoughts without judgment or derision and where the only agenda is to encourage open discussion. You regularly see transitioned women; transgender people, crossdressers and crossdreamers share their pain, their opinons or their theories.

If you haven’t already become a regular visitor I strongly urge that you do because understanding yourself and your motivation is the secret to coping with gender dysphoria. There are always alternative approaches and you will learn simply through reading other people’s experiences.

You are definitely not alone.

Hats off to Jack...



Crossdreamers

Comments

  1. Wow, this looks like a great resource. Thank you.

    http://www.crossdreamers.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. It most definitely is Michelle

    ReplyDelete
  3. And, there is the companion (discussion) site, which is not to be missed! http://crossdreamlife.lefora.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for the kind words, Joanna, thank you very much!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

the pseudoscience behind gender dysphoria

The real science as to what causes gender dysphoria still awaits.

Harry Benjamin was on to something except he didn’t have the scientific evidence to back up his suspicions hence, like a true scientist, he negated to draw conclusions. His hunch, based on treating so many patients over his lifetime, was that one is born with a predisposition to be gender dysphoric.

However, with inconclusive brain scans and no DNA marker (as of yet) we are left with believing the word of people who need help and only want to lead happy and productive lives.

The best we have been able to muster since Benjamin's death in 1986 was to amass statistics on who gets a boner imagining themselves as a woman which is in equal parts pathetic and disappointing. For this is not really science at all but is instead playing with interview data that doesn't point to anything definitive or conclusive. I have dealt with this problem at great length in my blog.

The whole thing started with Kurt Freund's obses…

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …