Skip to main content

"do you still have your uterus?"

True and funny story.

Last night I was riding the subway home. A woman got on and sat next to me and smiled at me politely. She looked over at me a few times over the next few minutes each time pleasantly smiling as she looked up from her magazine. I thought she might have read me but nevertheless each time I smiled back.

Then she suddenly she looked at me and quipped "You must be a professional"

I asked why she thought that and she told me she liked the way I did my makeup and she could tell by my general presentation. For the record I was not dressed particularly fancy. Still I was flattered and all of a sudden we were involved in conversation.

I learned she is 57, has been married for 28 years and works as a hair stylist.

I tell anyone who asks that I am around 50 so when we learned each other's ages the topic migrated towards menopause which all of a sudden segued on to the topic of her hysterectomy. This very friendly and open person who is not the least bit shy asked me another question

"Do you still have your uterus?"

I said that I did and then suddenly looked up to realize I was at my stop. We wished each other a nice evening and she waved at me as the subway car pulled away to the next station.

As I walked out of the station the thought that stayed with me was that instead of stressing for all those years and trying to cure myself of being trans, I could have been myself and enjoyed these sorts of exchanges.

It's never too late to learn.

Comments

  1. That is a moment you will cherish forever!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I won't forget it anytime soon Stana

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…

understanding the erotic component

I have written about crossed wires before in two separate posts. The idea is that one cannot pass through puberty and the development of sexual feelings for females and not have your pre-existing gender dysphoria be impacted through your psychosexual development. The hormone responsible for your libido is testosterone which is present in much stronger concentration in males and is why gynephilics are most likely to experience erotic overtones as the conflict between romantic external feelings and their pull towards the feminine become permanently intertwined.

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings. This began years of turmoil and self-deprecating thoughts …

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…