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fathers and sons

Back when I was considering the possibility of transition I would picture myself wearing a dress in front of my son. Telling him would have been even harder than dealing with N, my daughter or my mother. Having to explain that the person he thought he knew had omitted an important element of information and things would be changing dramatically between us would have been gut wrenching.

While I am not ashamed of who I am, he has yet to see me dressed and I plan to keep it that way unless he ever asks to see it.

In a few weeks he will turn 16 and this is a period where your masculinity and sense of who you are is in a fragile state. It was just a few degrees worse for me in having this dilemma I never dare reveal. It takes years to find out who you really are and that is without being transgender which is just another wrinkle serving only to complicate matters.

So when I found this story I found it poignant and imagined myself on both sides of the fence. See if you can relate.

You can read it here.

Comments

  1. This post has haunted me all day. I have two sons, 20 & 22. The older is about to graduate from college, his brother has two years left. I have kept myself under wraps and in hiding during their formative years and have been a tremendous father. Now that they are all but grown, my farce of a marriage about to end, I wonder about transitioning. If they weren't around, I'd do it in a heartbeat-I might do it anyway, as I truly want to live an authentic life in my remaining years (I'm your age Joanna). I think part of the author's distress might be his age when his father transitioned and the manner in which she chose to transition. Nonetheless, a harrowing account. Thank you for posting this link.

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  2. Marcia you are more than welcome..

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  3. We are at the age now where living authentically does matter bu that may or may not require a full transition. You can always honour your trans nature in other ways and still be you.

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