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innate versus learned

Yesterday evening we were out for dinner. During the conversation the topic of gender came up and how N embraced part of what was traditionally feminine such as playing with Barbies but then rejected wearing dresses until she was much older.

She also admitted that she was generally attracted to masculine men to which I half-jokingly responded "then what are you doing with me?"

She then pointed to my less than stellar job of removing my nail polish and said smiling

"yeah I don't know"

"are you happy with who you are as a male?" she inquired.

"yes I am but there is this side that must be explored and is a strong part of who I am" I responded although I am paraphrasing since my exact response eludes me.

What she knows about me cannot be erased in her mind and even if I don't think you would guess I was trans from meeting me in male mode, so much of my behaviour has been learned.

I know how to play both parts when I need or want to. That is the great mystery of gender isn't it? How much is innate and how much is learned.

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