Skip to main content

our gender core

We are born, the doctor looks at our genitals and we are assigned a gender identity.

The formative years are then spent learning how to behave and do the things appropriate for your birth sex. Not all of us want to follow instruction but most of us reluctantly do.

We don’t know how gender identity is actually acquired but we know now that it resides in the brain and not in the sexual plumbing and is likely a combination of nature and nurture. Why it is wholly or partially reversed in some people is a complete and total mystery but it makes sense that this should happen.

I mentioned some posts ago how it should be able to predict transgenderism simply on the basis of the variability of nature and how it abhors perfection and uniformity. The fact that some brains are bi-gendered or gender reversed should then not be surprising and yet for many people this is an inconceivable idea; for them the gender binary should be represented by two uniform, static and immovable monoliths. While this may be an appealing idea it is actually not possible because nothing in nature is so wholly perfect.

Until this reality is accepted, transgender and transsexual people will continue to have an uphill battle for acceptance because those who argue for an origin based on mental illness or sexual depravity will fan the flames of doubt. They may not be basing themselves on anything concrete but there will always be a captive audience willing to entertain their rhetoric until science conclusively puts an end to their theories.

For the rest of the post I will quote directly from Felix Conrad's writing:

"...think how easy it is to socialize a transgender infant. Out of pure instinct the kid presents himself to his parents dressed as a girl (this is a common experience of crossdreamers). The parents tell him that this is not appropriate because he is a ‘boy’. The nature of a child is not to seek difference but to ‘fit in’ and this is even more pronounced with their peers. Therefore, think of the infant logic…

◾ Mummy says I’m a boy
◾ Teacher calls me a boy
◾ Other kids call me a boy
◾ I have short hair and willy of a boy
◾ Ipso facto logicus… I’m a fucking boy!

I would bet – though we will never know – that at that ipso facto logicus moment – there is literally a part of the brain that gets colored in and a sticker put on it that says ‘boy’. He has now self-identified as a boy, so to his conscious mind he is… a boy. However, there is one part of a human that no amount of socialization can erase. Society can make you feel guilty about it… you can feel guilty about it… but sexuality and reproduction are too important for the species to permit a program rewrite. As we have seen with the gay community… if you love men you love men and no amount of electric shocks, injections, therapies and prejudice can change that.

This is exactly the same for our transgender kid. He has successfully identified as a boy and is living as such… but when it comes to his sexuality no amount of socialization can remove his female instinct. Yes, he will be able to have sex with women, yes, he may be attracted to women… but if he is on his own… fantasizing… he will never fantasize about having a penis and penetrating women… he will always fantasize in some way, shape or form… as female. It’s true that it comes through all sorts of filters and that this desire will channel itself in some unusual ways… but I repeat… there is a mass of male socialization and biology which it has to pass through.

So, if a man, who identifies as a man, always imagines himself as a woman in his sexual fantasies… then we can say that in one sense, he is crossing gender. But in another he is not… because he was born with a female gender core and might well identify as female later on in life as many ‘autogynephiliacs’ do (once repression and socialization have been eroded.)"





Comments

  1. Hi Joanna,

    I've been writing lately about nature vs. nurture on my blog here: http://tgguide.com/message/blogs/entry/1718-nature-vs-nurture-nature-scores/

    It's hard to be certain, isn't it? I am starting to think of it like a vector. There is a direction that points toward a gender and over time and experience its magnitude keeps increasing until it's undeniable.

    Emma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Emma I am absolutely convinced that it is a combination of the two with the predisposition present being affected by parenting factors. I will go and check out your link!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

another coming out

Recently I had lunch with one of the young estimators who occasionally works with me here in Toronto. We were chatting about work and our respective lives when she queried about my love life:

“So how is it going on that front. Meet anyone interesting lately?”

I reflected for a moment and then said:

“My situation is a little particular and if you don’t mind I can share something about myself”

She leaned in a bit and told me to please go ahead.

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.

She looked at me and smiled and said:

“Really? That’s so neat”

She is 35 years old and a lovely person which is why I knew I could confide in her. I then added that I had been reflecting on whether I would switch companies and begin working as Joanna and although she is totally open she also knows how conservative our business can be. So I told her that if I did decide to it would definitely be under a different umbrella.

Then yesterday I was coming back to my place and the lady who rents it to me, who is abo…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…

the risks of downplaying dysphoria

Kati’s comment on my post called “Doubting you are trans” got me thinking about the validity of our feelings and the importance of not downplaying them.

Make no mistake: gender dysphoria is real and you are not delusional and by trying to downplay our emotional need to express ourselves we are making a mistake.

At the same time, I am very realistic about what I am doing to treat my dysphoria and understand that I was not born physically female. However, the idea that gender identity is established exclusively through birth genitalia has been pretty convincingly debunked which means that gender and its expression should be left up to the individual and not to society. But unfortunately, we live in a world where disobeying the rules leads to suffering through persecution.

Transition is one way to treat your “gender expression deprivation anxiety” (thank you Anne Vitale for that wonderful term) but it is not the sole method. However, denying that the feelings are real is a recipe for dep…