Skip to main content

an important clarification

Most of the people whose blogs I frequent are transgender or transsexual. This means that the knowledge that something was different about them dates back to earliest memory and those who crossdress use it as a part of a strategy to manage their gender dysphoria. There is a section in Harry Benjamin's book where its proposed as a non-surgical treatment method for transsexualism.

When I was trying to find a solution for myself I would come upon websites that dealt with curing crossdressing desires. At the time I felt that I needed to heal from what I determined to be a curable abnormality. I sincerely believed that such sites could be helpful and provide inspiration. Ultimately they weren't and my understanding today that I am a borderline transsexual has completely changed my mindset on this issue.

I occasionally still come upon a site that proposes that one can be “cured” of the affliction of crossdressing which only gives me visions of some young transgender kid ending up there and not finding what they need. A sexual addiction is not the same thing as being transgender.

If one began to crossdress for the purposes of sexual gratification then its very likely one can stop because the dressing is not tied to identity. If it ultimately winds up causing distress then this is a significant sign that there might be a problem. However in general, transgender and transsexual people find relief by crossdressing.

I remember being very concerned about Catholic doctrine and so years ago I consulted a Monseigneur who told me it was at worst a morally neutral issue. But then he also reminded me that crossdressing is a verb and not a noun and that there was more to me as a person than whether I crossdressed or not. I never forgot that.

It is not uncommon for some transgender people to go through a phase where they identify as a crossdresser. This can sometimes help remove some stigma and avoid a potentially bigger question of whether there is something more to their desire to crossdress.

As for those who have successfully cured themselves from what they consider to be a sexual addiction? they are to be congratulated. But we are not all the same and we cannot be painted with the same brush.

This blog has always advocated the idea that transition should be a last resort and there are ways to cope with gender dysphoria. Crossdressing may just be one of those tools that works.

Comments

  1. Like you, I have no intention or desire to transition. As much as I would prefer to have been born female, transition at my age and situation would not be satisfying enough.
    Interestingly I prefer to think of myself as transgender, not a cross dresser. I also find relief in cross dressing but at least for now it's entirely at home and in private. I guess the reason I prefer the TG label is that then my cross dressing isn't really cross dressing. I'm just being more fully myself. It's not particularly erotic but I do experience a kind of endorphin charge at times.
    But this leads to a question that, given your volume of posts, perhaps you have already written about: do you see gender as a continuum between female and male? Or is it more bimodal with narrow distributions around the center of each curve?
    Several reasons to consider this. For example, am I truly a female gender but with male social conditioning? Or, as my therapist suggested recently, perhaps my uncertainties around my transgender-ness are a result of my brain's independently trying to protect myself by questioning my beliefs?
    I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts.

    Emma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emma I definitely see gender identity as a continuum. This means that some will gravitate more towards the female or the male regardless of birth sex. The reasons someone would crossdress are varied but they range from entertainment to identity based. I wanted to make that distinction that we are not all the same and what works for one need not work for another.

      You are a combination of male and female and how you honour that is up to you. But it's expression need not be tied to a gender role transition unless you deem it's essential.

      Delete
  2. I tend to agree with the Monseigneur. Cross dressing is something I do. It gives me peace and purpose...pleasure and comfort. I do lots of other things in my life. I work, I eat and sleep. I drive a car. I ski and golf. I suppose to the same extent that at times I am a cross dresser I am also a worker, an eater, a sleeper, a driver a skier and and golfer. Some of these activities I do better than others.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are all as different as the stars on the heavens Pat

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…