Monday, 18 April 2016

getting to know us

Getting to know us is difficult. We spend so many years in hiding that the self discovery process can become stalled. We have become such incredible experts at subterfuge and camouflage.

You can't blame others then for being surprised when we come out of hiding by then brimming with impatience from holding our breaths for so long.

Practicing this ruse cones with a price in that we don't allow ourselves the dignity to be genuine that we end up learning in mid to late life. It sometimes feels like using atrophied muscles.

I have been getting to know the woman that lives within me and I like her.

Yesterday N and I were out shopping and she quipped "I need to get something appropriate for women our age"

I reacted with a chuckle and very much appreciated the acknowledgement.

2 comments:

  1. Yes, my staying in hiding bothers me at times. I feel that I should be more out, present, and counted. It's complicated why I'm not and it's complicated and sometimes depressing that I live my secret, my lie.

    You've been so brave and forthright. And now you're lucky to have N, and to be able to go shopping together. Some day I hope I'll be able to do that too, with my S!

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  2. well Emma, N does not really accompany me much. I tend to go out on my own but that is mostly because we do not live together and this makes it easier to compartmentalize my life. I hope that one day you feel comfortable being out a little more but it does take time.

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