Skip to main content

how we label ourselves

I need to be careful about nomenclature but then I come from the generation when the terminology of transvestite and transsexual for example had very particular meanings. We saw them as boundaries that we are a little less certain about today.

For today’s generation these terms have less meaning. They use words like gender queer, non-binary, gender non-conforming or gender variant to describe their lack of adherence to prescribed gender roles. Even the term transsexual is no longer used by gender therapists and I was reminded of this when I went to see Helene Cote at the Montreal General Gender Identity clinic a couple of years back.

The problem with strict definitions is that they are made to be broken and recast. Some people start off with an understanding of themselves and years later take a different path they did not expect to take. Does that mean that their original label was incorrect or did their mindset shift over time as they began to truly understand what made them tick?

All people learn and grow with time and shed the restrictions placed on them by society. They do so at their own pace with some being more rebellious and some more conservative depending on their nature and life circumstances.

Maybe we should be careful with labels and allow ourselves a looser grip with how we move forward in honouring what makes us who we are. What I thought I understood about myself a few years back has changed and I have a different mindset now.

Such is the complexity of the human experience.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

prejudice disguised as objective rectitude

So here is Professor Jordan Peterson perhaps justly calling out the excesses of political correctness gone mad. But then he extends it to not indulging transgender people the basic dignity of being addressed in their preferred pronoun. To do so for him would cost nothing and to stand on literal principle seems to serve little use other than to send a message of disdain.

If you have transitioned or even live as the opposite gender is costs me nothing to address you in your preferred pronouns. What difference does it make to me and what am I trying to tell you when I don't?

Peterson wants to stand on his rights to call reality what it is except that in this case the exact objective escapes me. But of course the right wing Federalist is in love with him because he calls a spade a spade.

If I see a rock I can call it that but then the rock doesn’t have any feelings. To address a transgender woman "her" and "she" is not undermining my rights as a person in any way b…

"Oh please its 2016!"

I have mentioned before that I have a lovely young couple living above the unit next to mine. Well the other day as I was getting in the door, she and I overlapped for the first time with me dressed as a woman.

We had a nice conversation and at some point I mentioned the obvious which was that I had told her future husband that they might see me in a different guise from time to time so they wouldn't wonder about who the strange woman was. She just looked at me almost rolling her eyes while smiling from ear to ear and said:

"Oh Please it's 2016!"

For the record she was also very complementary regarding my choice of attire.

I could care less at this point in my life what people think but it is still lovely to see the millennial generation's freedom of spirit and acceptance so lacking in previous generations. Yes they have their own foibles, as does every generation, but this area certainly isn't one of them.

looking past cross gender arousal

Jack’s latest Crossdreamers post got me thinking about cross gender arousal and how it could be avoided; also whether it even matters. This with particular focus on the inability to relate of someone on the outside looking in.

You see, sexuality is a very complicated thing to begin with and when you then add gender identity ambiguity it becomes a recipe to really confuse someone.

So imagine that you are a little boy who identifies as a girl but then along comes puberty and short circuits everything by having the sex you identify with also be the sex you are attracted to. For in essence this is what happens to all all male to female gender dysphoric trans persons who are attracted to women.

So I ask myself: can I imagine a scenario where this inherent contradiction would not produce sexual confusion? The answer is that I cannot.

I am in the unique position, like many of you, to have experienced an early identification with the feminine become sexualized later on. This brought confusion…