Being intelligent has given me advantages in life but perhaps also made it more difficult in that it has often meant overthinking things and always wanting to know the whys. That desire to comprehend is why I had such a hard time accepting that I was transgender. Things like that just weren’t supposed to happen to a person like me; not when every other area in my life seemed to be under my control.
As I age one of the most important things I am learning is to let go and accept. This has removed a good deal of stress from my life and, as I approach the end of my 54th year of existence, I am still learning about myself and every day find some new grain of perspective to chew on.
Repatriating part of who you are takes time and what I used to see as an appendage to be cut away has been assimilated into my personhood. This means not trying to overcompensate with faux masculinity to hide something I no longer need or even wish to.