Skip to main content

life as it really is

Based on scientific observation of every other area of biology, virtually every permutation of sex and gender identity should theoretically exist. Which begs the question: to what degree should that reality be subject to control by outside forces.

Historically these have been societal pressure and religious ideas about how life should be instead of how it actually is.

There is no shortage of beautiful and enlightened souls in this world which are matched if not exceeded by complete and total idiots. Just read the comments section of any internet article for evidence of this which seems to predominantly attract the latter. It is particularly bad when the article deals with transgender issues.

This means that if you spend any time at all worrying about how people perceive you it's one minute too many. I spent years as a shy young kid worrying about what a fickle society might think of me if I came out but I am way past caring at my age. Were anyone even give me a nasty look today I'd stare them down and ask if I could help them in some way.

However, while riding the subway the other day a young man tapped me on the shoulder and said to me:

“I just wanted to say that I think you are a beautiful person and I am glad people like you exist”

Now I could have been annoyed about being read but instead I found it so heartwarming that this young man did this and so I gracefully smiled and thanked him. It does not matter what stage of transition he may have assumed I was at but it confirmed that we need show we are proud and happy when we are out in the world. If I seem to project that then I am glad which makes being read more than worthwhile.

Another recent encounter had a young woman serving me coffee and commenting how much she liked my coat and presentation. When I quipped back "not bad for 50 hey?" she made a gesture with her head and finger I have seen African American women make which loosely translated would stand for "you got it goin' on girl". Needless to say I was pleased.

It helps make up for all those hateful comments from those who would deny us existence or even the right to pee.

The battle lines between trans people, radical feminists, religious and political conservatives have been drawn and it will take a while for the dust to settle. In the meantime we need to stand our ground and continue living by holding our heads high and keeping our self respect. Its the only thing that ultimately we can control.

Uninformed opinions are like assholes in that everyone has one but ultimately there is only one truth and that rests on respecting the rights of others if they don't infringe on your own. Some people will never get past that stage because their own insecurities won't allow them to.

For the record I have always used the women's bathroom and have never had an issue. That may be because I pass well but I also like to think that I live in a place where people have more enlightened attitudes about such things.

Comments

  1. Joanna,
    About 12 years ago (a lifetime in public awareness of transness) I went to a breakfast buffet after going to Mass one Sunday. It was in Battle Creek MI. My mannerisms were not particularly feminine at that time and I was read as I walked to the cashier upon entering. I seemed to be the focus of a lot of looks by the staff as it wasn't very busy yet. After finishing I left the restaurant and before I got too far a young lady came running out to give me a hug. She then thanked me for being true to myself. To this day, it brings joy to my heart that there are loving, understanding people in the world and it is only by remembering them can we survive in a world that contains those that choose to hate us.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so absolutely correct Leann. One person can make up for many...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

let's please read carefully

This post is prompted by a recent comment I received to one of my older posts and I wanted to address it.

I used to wonder why some transgender people accepted Blanchard’s work until I think I figured out why: they may not have examined it closely enough. They would experience cross gender arousal and then accept it was Autogynephilia without properly understanding what the term meant and what the theory said: it is an invented sexual “illness” which makes people transition. In other words, it is the arousal itself which causes this desire and not a pre-existing gender identity which does not align with birth sex. Of course, Blanchard has no explanation for the origin of his proposed “illness” only that it is a form of sexual deviance.

My counter proposal? we transition despite this arousal. In other words, the transgender identity is pre-existing and the arousal is the result of the mismatching of burgeoning sexual feelings towards females and this misaligned identity; it is not per…