Skip to main content

life is just like that

N's father is in declining health and a recent discovery confirmed it; he is in his last months of life. Also suddenly my son's anxiety has been racheted up after something triggered it out of the blue. The timing couldn't be worse as we are set to go away down to Mexico for N's 50th birthday celebration.

This trip has been booked for months and the turn of events have put a damper on the mood.

Life has a way of surprising you as we ride its fickle ups and downs. Upon reflecting one week away will not have much of an impact on either scenario and yet we are still distracted by the sudden events.

We are so governed by guilt and as parents ourselves or as children of ageing parents we want to take away all of their burdens and put them on ourselves. Sadly we cannot but I know my own struggles have shaped who I am and I wouldn't change them.

I told my son that I was proud of him and that he would come out better on the other side. It's easy for a 53 year old with many more years of life experience to say that to a 16 year old but he will need to see for himself. He is an intelligent and considerate young man with a good head on his shoulders and I am very proud of him.

As for N's father he has lived a long life and at some point some infirmity catches up to us. The trick now is to make his remaining time as peaceful and pain free as possible

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual and we learn on the job. Somehow I am not sure I'd have it any other way.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

how times change

How times have changed.

Whereas transition was something not to even contemplate for us, here is a young trans person who felt the opposite pressure. She looks and sounds extremely passable but decided it wasn't for her despite the social media presence of young transitioners potentially inspiring her to.

We are all different and I happen to think she's rather a smart cookie as well...


indoctrination

As transgender people, organized religion hasn't really been our friend however on the other hand it has often had little to do with true spirituality. I needed to learn this over time and much of what I was taught growing up was steeped in the judgmental superstition of society instead of what some creator would demand of me.

Regardless of your belief system, you are a child of the universe and have been endowed with uniqueness and goodness of spirit. You have probably never wished anyone ill will and you have tried your best to live within the absurd coordinate system of humanity. Yet somehow belonging to the LGBT community was entirely your fault.

As I have grown older this inherent irrationality became increasingly evident to me. I knew I was a fundamentally good person and yet I was different in a way which was not of my choosing. Hence with this comprehension my self appreciation and esteem grew in proportion.

Religion for me today seems forever trapped in the misinterpretat…

feeling sexy

Here are the results of a recent survey of genetic women:

“A new hairdo, walking in heels and a glowing tan are among the things that make a woman feel sexy. Freshly applied lipstick, newly-shaved legs and a little black dress also have a positive effect on the psyche”

Are you surprised? I’m not because it is exactly the same list that makes transgender women feel sexy.

For a long time the idea was pandered about that transsexualism was rooted exclusively in aberrant sexuality. But of course you cannot separate the sexuality from the individual because that forms part of their overall makeup and the fact that genetic and transsexual women overlap here surprises no one.

We should also add here that women aren't always thinking about sex and neither are transgender women.

Pre transition transsexuals would not readily admit they found these things sexy because they were afraid to be seen as perverted men in front of gatekeepers who understood nothing about their condition.

Today we kn…