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my humble advice

The reason this blog was started was to try and understand how my childhood interest in behaving and dressing like a girl became sexualized by puberty.

Now some people who think they understand this subject and know nothing about what it’s like to be me are coming up with conclusions except they lack solid information to do so. They are also telling me my prepubescent feelings are either straight lying or self-delusion which is of course untrue because I had them. Most of the people who read my blog had the same feelings and still do today.

There is no official handbook which spells out what to do about them.

I know I will never transition; of that I am certain and my advice is to get to know yourself inside and out and figure out the rhythms of your gender dysphoria. This will calm the waters tremendously and allow you to be yourself no matter who that might be.

Don’t model yourself after anyone else and never take professional advice from someone who knows less about this topic than you do. I can spot these types in an instant and this includes psychologists with no training in gender issues.

Understand that gender expression should not be limited to someone else’s standards. Therefore if your working environment allows for alternate gender expression then proceed accordingly.

When N and I were away on vacation I came out to two people who could care less about the way I am and found my honesty very refreshing. They could not understand why I had suffered so long for something so utterly benign.


  1. Excellent advice; that is why I love your blog. I hope N and you had a great vacation.

  2. Joanna,

    You are a beacon! I too love you and your posts!



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